Miscarriage

Its been a month since my 2nd miscarriage. October 24,2009 around 10:00 in the evening when my husband rush me to the hospital because of bleeding. Unfortunately the baby didn't survive. Around 2:00 AM when we arrived in our home.

Masakit emotionaly, pero mas masakit ang makarinig ka ng salitang "bakit mo sinayang". For God sake I was mourning that time and trying to move on, then makakarinig ka ng ganung salita. Kung sino man ang unang-unang taong gustong mabuo ang baby ko, ako yon. Walang makakapantay sa sayang naranasan ko when I found out that I am pregnant. At wala ding makakapantay sa sakit na naramdaman ko ng makunan ako, it's definitely unfair na sabihing sinayang ko! Napakaraming luha ang iniluha ko dahil sa nangyari.

Sobrang gulo ng isip ko that time, maraming tanong, maraming bakit. Good thing my husband is always there to remind me to strengthen my faith and confidence. He reminds me na "kung si Job nga lahat ng anak nya namatay, lahat ng ari-arian nya nawala sa kanya, nagkasakit sya mula ulo hanggang paa pero hindi sya nagreklamo, Tinanggap nya dahil yon ang kalooban ng Ama. Hindi sya nawalan ng pag-asa at pananampalataya. Samantalang yung nawala sa atin dugo pa lang, wala pa tayong puhunan, may dahilan ang Ama kaya hindi sya nabuhay. Ibibigay din satin ng Ama sa tamang panahon." My husband's words really help me to moved on. Mas madali nga akong nakarecover ngayon emotionaly kesa nung first miscarriage ko. I don't know why, is it because nasabi ko this time kung ano ang nararamdaman ko at nasa kalooban ko, unlike before na nanahimik lang ako or dahil pangalawang beses ng nangyari sa akin ito? Anyways, we are still hoping that there is another chance for me to get pregnant, we will continue to pray to our Lord God. And if He permit, we hope that it will be a successsful one.

And of course to all my friends who comforted me in times of my sorrow. Ramdam ko yung pagmamahal at pag-aalala nila sa akin, they cheer me up, ang sarap ng feeling na karamay mo sila sa pagdadalamhati mo. I really appreciate all the words they said and all the things they have done to me, thank you so much!